Who Said A Ride Is Out Of The Question?

sleazy man


It’s the Sunday after the night before, and far from the twisted debauchery of your botched attempts at courtship the previous night, lies the increasingly emasculating depression of a life spent alone watching the 900 channels on Sky.

The nightclub crawl to quell one’s lustful desire is the proverbial ‘banging your head against a wall’ metaphor more often than not ascribed to men. It inevitably leaves most red faced and miserable, wondering why women devote so many hours to preparation, only to come out with the monotonous tact of shooting down every guy that so much as bids them a pleasant “how you do”?

There is no point taking the moral high ground. Bereft of any reason, some misguided illusion still exists that men are out for one thing when it comes to relationships and women another. So why then, when we scope the alternative forms of coy behavior such as online dating, do we see that the ratio of those looking for a simple fling suddenly begins to balance the scales?

Dating websites are nothing new. What has changed is the Draconian idea that all who avail of their service are looking for long term commitment. An infallible rise in sites with the simple premise of hooking up and pairing off hormonal couples has thrust the sword of Damocles into the heart of monogamy.

Taken at face value, www.upforit.com can vouch for this. The obligatory bio on the site takes the focus away from a drole list of one’s hobbies and interests and instead gets down to the brass tacks of whom you want it with, where and how? Similar to Mark Zuckerberg’s pre-facebook projectFaceMash, the website then sends you a menagerie of men or women (and vice versa) asking you the simple yes or no question: Would you like to meet him/her? When a mutual match occurs, all that is left to do is arrange a secretive rendezvous and agree some ground rules.

Similar websites such as Zoosk.com and plentyoffish.com operate under the same format, with varying levels of tastefulness. The only downside for the rambunctious droves of Michael Douglas’ and Sharon Stone’s is that your free subscription will only get you so far, as most key features will require a small financial commitment.

Most of the aforementioned websites boast an above average success rate, though wise folk would do better than to play jester to their unproven authenticity. Another problem arises as to whether or not the people you are matched with really exist or have been the creation of some lonely, obese widower.

The foibles of such websites, and the often inundation of Russian girls within 4km of your area, would go some way towards explaining the recent popularity of two mobile apps that have been successfully connecting people since the turn of last year.

Both Tinder and its counterpart for gay men and women, Grinder, allow an instantaneous look at the liberal lovers around you. Co- Founder Sean Rad began with the same idea as many dating sites, only with the aim of eliminating the glaring loop holes most others present in order to obtain the match its user’s desire.

The app allows you to see all in sundry within a reachable radius of your location, pairing people off based on their compatibility. So far a staggering 50 million matches have been made, as people begin to appreciate the no-strings approach these two apps finally seem to offer users.


Varying levels of success have been reported.  It does seem that a  level of trawling is required in order to wean out the inevitable scam sites that will arguably leave a person more sexually frustrated (and lighter in the pocket) than when they arrived at their desktop in search of their midnight lover.

Mobile applications like Tinder are all well and good, but they do leave you susceptible to an awkward encounter with someone you may already know, made all the more surreal for ‘in the closet’ men and women using Grinder.

What it does prove is that the abashed prowl for a simple sexual encounter is not merely a man’s game. The certain level of anonymity associated with some of the sites mentioned, is probably the comfort a lady needs to allow her freedom from the myriad of reasons why they should not permit themselves the proverbial “stab in the dark”.

Dismiss them as lurid at your own peril, but under the cover of darkness, bedrooms are alight with the screens of online dating websites, as debonair masses seek to unlock their own personal Cleopatra or Dorian Gray.


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